Therapy for processing life abroad, and the selves you became
Therapy for processing life abroad gives you room to look back on time spent in other countries and understand what it changed in you, what it cost and what it gave.
Perhaps you have come home after years away and feel strangely foreign in familiar streets. Perhaps you have lived in several countries and no longer know which one you belong to. Living abroad leaves a deep imprint on identity, relationships and memory. In New York, I offer unhurried sessions where those experiences can be gathered, felt and woven into a story that makes sense to you.
“A life lived across borders does not need to be tidied into one story. It needs a place where every chapter is allowed to count.”
Processing is not about deciding where you truly belong. It is about letting all the places you have lived take their rightful place inside you.
Why time abroad can stay unfinished inside you
The experiences we have far from home are often intense, fast and only half digested while they are happening. Much of their meaning arrives later.
When people live abroad, they are usually busy surviving it: learning the language, finding work, building friendships, managing paperwork. There is little time to notice how they are being changed. Years later, after a return home or a settled stretch in New York, the feelings that were set aside can surface all at once. Therapy for processing life abroad offers a slower pace, so that what was lived quickly can finally be understood.
This work is less about solving a current problem and more about integration. We look at the person you were before you left, the person you became while you were away and the person you are now. Those versions of you may hold different values, languages, humour and ways of loving. None of them needs to be discarded. Our task is to let them speak to one another.
As a world traveller with both European and American citizenship, I know from the inside how a life split across countries can be rich and disorientating at the same time. My training in global religion and culture, gender theory and psychoanalytic inquiry informs how I listen, but your own experience always leads.
Returning home and reverse culture shock
Coming back can be harder than leaving. Friends and family may expect you to be the same person, while you feel altered in ways that are difficult to explain. Conversations can feel small, or your stories may be met with polite disinterest. Many people describe a quiet grief they did not expect, a sense of being a visitor in their own life. We can name that grief honestly and give it somewhere to go.
Identity built across several cultures
If you grew up moving between countries, or have spent most of your adult life abroad, you may carry a layered identity that does not fit neatly on a form. You might feel most yourself in one language and most guarded in another. In sessions we can explore how culture, class, gender, sexuality and faith were shaped differently in each place, and how those threads now sit together in you.
Memory, nostalgia and the places you left
Places hold parts of us. Missing a city, a former partner, a version of your body or a community abroad is a real loss, even when leaving was a choice. Somatic awareness can help here, because memories of place often live in the senses: a smell, a quality of light, a way of walking. Making contact with those traces, gently, can turn painful longing into something warmer and more bearable.
Signs your years abroad want attention
People seek therapy for processing life abroad at many different points: soon after a return, years after a move, or when a new life event unexpectedly stirs up old chapters. You do not need a crisis to begin. If some of the experiences below sound familiar, it may be time to give your story the reflection it deserves.
- Feeling like a stranger back home
- Unspoken grief for a former life
- Unsure where you belong now
- Different selves in different languages
- Friends who cannot relate
- Restlessness since returning
- Unresolved experiences from abroad
- Mixed loyalty between countries
- Nostalgia that feels heavy
- Wanting to make sense of it all
Reflective care for a life between places
Our sessions draw on psychotherapy, somatic awareness and quiet reflection, adapted to what feels right for you. I do not try to fix your experience abroad or tell you how to feel about it. Instead, we build steadiness and clarity so you can hold your history with more ease.
Mapping your story
We trace the arc of your time abroad, from the reasons you left to the moment you came back or settled. Seeing the whole shape often reveals patterns, turning points and losses that were never fully acknowledged at the time.
Psychoanalytic listening
Some feelings about life abroad are tangled up with older stories about family, home and leaving. Psychoanalytic inquiry helps us notice those echoes, so that a move overseas is understood in the context of your whole life.
Somatic memory
Places live in the body as much as in the mind. Gentle somatic exploration helps you notice how memories of other countries show up physically, and lets you meet them without being overwhelmed.
Integrating identities
We make space for the different selves you developed in different cultures, including those connected to gender, sexuality, faith and class. The aim is a sense of self that can hold complexity rather than choosing one version.
Honouring grief
Leaving people and places behind brings losses that others may not see. Naming and mourning them, at your own pace, often frees energy for the life you are living now.
Psychiatric support if needed
If low mood, anxiety or sleep problems have settled in since your return, I can assess them and discuss whether medication or supplements may help, always as part of a collaborative plan.
Looking back, not settling in
This page is about making meaning of experiences abroad that have already happened. If you are in the middle of a new move and the daily demands feel hard, my page on adjusting to life abroad may fit better.
Processing life abroad
- Reflecting on years already lived elsewhere
- Returning home and reverse culture shock
- Integrating identities from several countries
- Mourning places and people left behind
- Building a coherent life story
Adjusting to life abroad
- Navigating the first months in a new country
- Building routines and practical footing
- Coping with language and work pressures
- Easing loneliness while making new ties
- Managing stress during the transition
Beginning to gather your story
Here is how our work together usually unfolds, though the pace is always yours.
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1
Free consultation 15 minutes
We have a short conversation about where you have lived, what brings you to therapy now and what you hope to understand. You can ask about my approach and get a feel for whether we are a good fit.
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2
An unhurried first session
In a longer opening session we explore your history in depth: the countries, the relationships, the reasons for each move and how you are feeling now. If there are mental health concerns, I assess them carefully too.
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3
Reflective sessions
Ongoing sessions give time to revisit particular chapters, notice how they live in your body and mind, and make links between past and present. Some weeks we talk a great deal; other weeks we slow right down.
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4
Weaving it together
Over time, we review what has shifted. Many people find their history starts to feel less fragmented, and that they can speak about their life abroad with more warmth and less ache.
Francesca Rome-Marie, PMHNP-BC
I bring together psychiatry, psychotherapy, somatic work and whole-body health, informed by years in primary care and further study in gender theory, feminist thought, culture and visual art.
I keep a deliberately small caseload so that every client receives consistent, unhurried and genuinely attentive care, held within one relationship rather than split across several providers.
Clear, upfront rates
I don't accept insurance. Modern Holistic Psychiatry is an out-of-network provider, so sessions are paid for directly. Depending on your plan, you may be able to claim reimbursement through your out-of-network benefits.
Find out how much your insurance may coverNeed urgent support? If you're in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call 911.
Therapy for Processing Life Abroad FAQs
What does therapy for processing life abroad actually involve?
It involves setting aside regular, unhurried time to reflect on your experiences in other countries and what they meant. We might talk about why you left, what you found, what was hard, what you loved and how returning or settling has felt. Alongside conversation, I may invite you to notice bodily sensations connected to particular memories. The goal is not to analyse every detail but to help the experience become part of a coherent, livable story.
I came back years ago. Is it too late to process it?
Not at all. Many people only begin to make sense of their time abroad long after it ended, often when something in the present brings it back, such as a new relationship, a bereavement or a birthday. Feelings that were postponed do not expire. Looking at them with fresh eyes, from a more settled place, can actually make the work richer and more meaningful.
Why does coming home feel harder than moving away?
When you moved abroad, everyone expected change and challenge. When you return, people often expect you to slot back into place. You may have changed in values, habits or sense of humour, while home has moved on without you. That mismatch can feel lonely and confusing. Reverse culture shock is a common and understandable response, and it deserves care rather than dismissal.
I grew up in several countries. Can you help with a third culture identity?
Yes. Growing up between cultures often creates a deep adaptability alongside a lingering question about where home really is. In our sessions we can explore the cultures that shaped you, how belonging has felt in each and how you carry them now. My own life across Europe and the United States, and my study of global culture, helps me appreciate that complexity without reducing it.
Can my experiences abroad affect my mental health now?
They can. Difficult experiences abroad, such as isolation, discrimination, a painful breakup or an unsafe situation, may leave traces that show up later as anxiety, low mood or restlessness. Positive experiences can also leave a sense of loss when they end. As a psychiatric nurse practitioner I can assess what you are going through and, if it would help, discuss medication or supplements alongside therapy.
Is this approach suitable if my time abroad involved trauma?
Yes. My work is trauma-informed, and somatic approaches let us move gently, without needing to retell painful events in detail before you are ready. We pay close attention to your nervous system and pace sessions so that you stay grounded. If you are ever in crisis, please call or text 988 or call 911 for immediate support.
Do you work with people from any country?
I work with people living in New York State, whatever their country of origin or the places they have lived. Clients include New Yorkers who spent years overseas, people who moved here from abroad long ago and now want to reflect on it, and people with roots in many places. Everyone's story is approached with curiosity and respect.
Give your years abroad the space they deserve
Book a free 15-minute consultation and we can talk about the places you have lived and what you would like to understand.